I Reached Burnout and It Wasn’t Pretty + My Recovery Tips
I did not think I would be sharing this with you. but I want to be open and honest here because I believe that sharing our journey is the only way we can learn from each other's mistakes (and successes!).
What I am so hesitant to share is that, at the end of 2021 (a month ago from the time I am writing this), I reached a real, deep, life-sucking, devoid of motivation, burnout breaking point. And it was not pretty.
How it happened
Looking back now, I can easily see how this did not come out of nowhere. It has slowly and incrementally been creeping into my life since the beginning of last year. A mix of living in a new big city (NYC), building new relationships, letting go of others, navigating new seasons (I was used to the "summer all year long" aspect of Miami), all while running an extremely busy (and yet extremely rewarding) online business all by myself.
I did not take care of myself well enough to handle all of this at once – and after having gone through it all I now understand why. This last year was intense, but it taught me a lot about how I'm wired and I am going to share some of that here for context.
In 2021, I learned (and confirmed) that:
I am a HSP (Highly sensitive person). "HSP is a term for those who are thought to have an increased or deeper central nervous system sensitivity to physical, emotional, or social stimuli" - which means I am more likely to feel things deeply, whether those things are positive or negative. Curious if you are one? Take this test.
I deal with anxiety. This is something I have carried with me for years (I can remember being in middle school and dealing with anxiety).
I am often an energetic sponge, which means I absorb and take in others' energies, feelings, and overall state of being – both good and bad.
Now, I know this can all sound negative, but I choose to see these as both "things I need to have a constant eye over" AND "my superpowers".
I know that my HSP nature and sponge-like wiring helps me be the great designer that I am. I am sensitive to my client's needs, I can easily sense and get a hold of their design vision and bring it to life. I hear this all the time in my client's testimonials:
“
Bia absolutely had her work cut out for her when working with me because I didn’t have a clear-cut vision for my business, but I was astonished at how effortlessly and quickly she made design choices that I didn’t even know I wanted!"
“
Working with Bia for my website rebrand and logo design was so easy and flowing. She took my fragmented thoughts and ideas and transformed them into her beautiful design being sure to check-in to ensure we were envisioning similar ideas."
“
I cannot be more grateful for Bia’s support and inspiration. Her suggestions were ideal and matched elegantly with the whole spirit of my business."
But if left unchecked, those little things can ruin me (sounds a bit exaggerated but that's exactly how it feels!). Here is a definition of burnout I found online and resonated with:
"Burnout is a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress. It occurs when you feel overwhelmed, emotionally drained, and unable to meet constant demands." (source)
What burnout felt like to me
Some of the "symptoms" I experienced in burnout were:
feeling mentally exhausted
sitting down to work but not being able to produce anything
easily overwhelmed by things that shouldn't make me feel that way
not being able to handle more than one thing at a time
easily reaching that anxiety point
being physically tired
Thank goodness that when I was reaching that burnout point at the end of 2021 I was able to shift things around so I wouldn't have any client work during the second half of December. I was already aware I was reaching my limit.
And then January came around, the burnout was still there and I was worried, to say the least. It is the new year and I wanted to have the energy to start it full force. I wanted to want to work. I wanted to want to create new websites... but I was still empty. I would sit by the computer and ..... nothing.
I truly believe God was on my side during this period, because the client project I had scheduled in January got postponed for two months later due to availability conflicts with my client's schedule. That means January became my *Official Healing Month*!
Recovering from burnout
Now, I am not an expert on how to heal from burnout, but I have been doing little things here and there that are helping me get back on track. Just the fact that I could sit down and write this out for you is a huge step and shows that what I have been doing is working.
So here are a few things I have been doing to help me during my burnout recovery:
I took some real time off. I was not thinking about work (my mind couldn't even if I tried). I did nothing a lot of the time - and it was amazing!
Seeking pleasure became a priority. I knew that sitting in front of the TV and binge-watching everything on Netflix would not bring me any healing. So I opted to use the little energy I had to do things I WANTED. I went back to Miami to be around family, old friends, and the amazing warm weather. I went to the beach many many times. I have been going on long morning walks with my bff almost daily. I have had my face buried in lovely novels. I have been going out with friends I haven't seen in a while, having that occasional cocktail and wine, and finding my love for cooking once again. It has been truly lovely.
I am allowing myself to feel – both the good and the bad. The thing about being burnout is that my capacity to manage my emotions is not as strong and efficient as it usually is. So I have been experiencing some interesting highs and lows and I am just going with it. My take is that if I just allow these emotions to go through me I can let them go and make space for the new.
I am doing a lot of "looking within". In my eyes, it is not enough to take time off to recover if I am just gonna go back to the same habits that put me in this position to begin with. So I have been reading many articles, watching YouTube videos, and learning from others on the tactics they did to manage and prevent further burnout moving forward. So far I realized that I need to incorporate all of the things I wrote above in my daily life and not just save them for when I am on "vacation mode". And I need to be more kind to myself. Slow down, take deep breaths, and know I am capable.
It is exciting to see how, 3 weeks after I felt that deep burnout got to me, I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I am finding that energy again to dream about my business goals. I want to design and make beautiful things. I want to get back to work with a new strategy, where I am kinder to myself, where I seek beauty and pleasure in my daily life, and both myself and my work will be better because of it.
At first, I was expecting the burnout to completely go away after taking a week off. But after reading many articles of others who went through this, it is clear to me that this is actually going to be a journey of weeks/months of recovery. And I am ok with that. I am weirdly excited to slow down, to take a new and renewed approach to how I live and balance my personal and business life. To take control of my life and know I don't need to overwork myself to be "successful". How good is it for me to build a successful business if I am falling apart behind the scenes?
So this is where I am now: getting my strength back, excited to return to work, and rebuilding my new "normal".
If any of this resonated with you, I would LOVE to hear about it. Please, click the reply bottom and share your story with me.
Warmly,
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